WHY YOU MIGHT BE IDOLIZING SOMEONE WHO IS BROKE
Ever heard of the phrase ‘keeping up with the Joneses’? This phrase is used to describe the lifestyle choices we make, and things we purchase in order to keep up with the “cool” things that our peers/ friends/ neighbors/ people on social media, have (aka they are the Joneses). If you’re familiar with this phrase you may know that the Joneses could actually be broke.
On the outside we see the Joneses driving luxury cars, living in a big shiny house, carrying designer bags & having the latest and greatest of everything! On the inside the Joneses are drowning in credit card debt, with no savings & little net worth. The Joneses struggle to save or investing anything month after month. Why? Because all of the money the Joneses bring in, is immediately going right back out the door on material items.
How do the Joneses impact our lives & our financial situation? Well, often WE start spending money we don’t have, on things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t care about!!! We are constantly trying to keep up with everyone else, and we wind up idolizing people who are BROKE!
WHY, why do we do this? Well in my opinion is has a lot to do with…. materialism.
According to the Webster Dictionary, Materialistic is defined as: overly concerned or preoccupied with material possessions rather than with intellectual or spiritual things
In simpler words & in my own opinion Materialistic means to me: being highly concerned and consumed with the material items you possess and display
Do you find yourself buying expensive, brand name, flashy items that you just can’t wait to wear/ drive/ show off to your friends, or post all over instagram? I am guilty of this too, it’s not something to be embarrassed about because I can promise you, that we ALL fall victim to it, in one way or another.
The reason we do make these decisions are often deeply routed beliefs we may have. Perhaps we think from what we’ve seen from others we will find a sense of happiness in material items. Maybe we think that material items and the quantity of which we have, define our success. Often we are so worried about what others think about us, that we are just trying to impress our peers.
Let’s break it down and better understand how each of these are are affecting our mindset & financial health.
We’ve all heard of retail therapy,right? You know, that sense of pure joy that comes with purchasing the cutest new outfit from our favorite store? We’ve all had the thoughts that something nicer, would just make life a little better, and a little happier.
These things are true, but the happiness that comes with it, are often short term. Material items bring instant pleasure, but our happiness driven by those materials don’t last forever.
Think about the last time you needed to clean your closet and were overwhelmed with the amount of clothes you had, and didn’t know where to start with getting rid of some things… This is the long term emotion that came with the instant gratification of your purchase.
Think about the regret that sets in after you spend hundreds of dollars on a shopping spree, realizing the things you bought, you really don’t even need.. and now you are feeling guilty about all those purchases, because you didn’t even have that money to spend in the FIRST PLACE!
Think about the weight on your shoulders to make your brand new car (or house!) payment and insurance premium each month, because of the decision you made could’ve been outside your budget?
These are the long term emotions that come with our short-term mindset to purchase material items that make us ‘happy’.
Not only do we become consumed with materialism because we believe it will buy us happiness, we also become consumed because we feel the need to express our success and self-worth through the amount of STUFF that we have!
More success = bigger house, nicer cars, designer clothes, expensive jewelry, boats, toys, gadets, electronics, etc.
The size of your house does not represent the size of the dollars sitting in your bank account! So rewrite the way you determine and view success.
I do believe in investing in nice (sometimes expensive) things. For example, I would buy a pair of RayBan sunglasses for $200. Not because I want to show off with fancy frames on my face, but because I realize the quality of the glasses will pay off. Instead dumping money into a handful of cheap glasses that I’ll buy each year and promptly break or lose them… so my point here is not that you should stop spending money or buying nice things. But instead, make sure these purchases are in line with your values, are in line with your budget.
There is nothing wrong with desiring nice things, again, even I desire nice things and always will! BUT I will not sacrifice my financial health to obtain them. I will not go into debt to impress others. I will instead plan, budget & be disciplined for items that I’d like to have.
So what tactical steps can you take to save money, avoid impulse spending and overcome materialism?
- Postpone as much as possible.
So many people ask me for tips on impulse buying. My advice? Tell yourself, “I will come back for this tomorrow” whether you leave it in your online shopping cart, or put it back on the physical shelf, tell yourself you will come get it tomorrow. What happens? We usually forget about it, or after a few hours we realize, we really didn’t need it. What happens if we are still thinking about the item the next day? Ask yourself if you can wait one more day, and revisit it tomorrow. Postpone for as long as you can. This is eliminate a TON of impulse purchase, and really weeds out your purchases to things you truly desire and make a plan for. - Eliminate before you Intake
So you want some new clothes? Before your closet gets out of control, could you go through and eliminate some things that you have not worn in a long time? Perhaps you can sell them on Poshmark, Facebook Marketplace, or take them to the local consignment store that will pay you for them. With that money, you could turn around and buy what you originally wanted. Now you’ve brought in some extra income, and you’ve avoided over-accumulating! This works with just about anything- clothes, shoes, furniture, decorations, accessories, you name it! - Be proactive and plan
Stick to what you budgeted at the beginning of your current budget cycle, and stop giving yourself the excuse to ‘treat yourself’ or ‘I deserve it’. No, what you deserve is a life of financial freedom, and that doesn’t come from constantly allowing yourself excuses to miss your goal. Would you tell your best friend that her goals should just be pushed off until next month? So why are you telling yourself that? - Avoid the ads
Did you know that according to Redcrowmarketing.com most Americans are exposed to 4,000 – 10,000 advertisements each day? They are all around us! And our technology is so crazy, it seems like ads pop up on my feed whenever I just THINK about something! We are surrounded my marketing tactics, that are designed and brilliant at taking our money. So I challenge you to stop clicking on the ads you come across in your feed, that lead you down a rabbit hole with a $200 cart, ready for check out. I challenge you to not be fooled by the 50% off everything sale where you splurge on things you didn’t need in the first place! Unsubscribe from the e-mails in your inbox prompting you to purchase something you didn’t need until seeing that promotion. - Find what truly brings you happiness
We can be so easily confused that new material items bring us eternal joy. This is the never ending cycle we end up in. So again, I challenge you to think about what TRULY, truly makes you happy. If you never had to go to work again, what would you spend your time doing? Maybe it would be riding your bike, playing with your dog, volunteering, traveling, playing baseball… Think about what brings you LONG term fulfillment & joy and incorporate that, instead of working on and spending your money & energy on your external image that you want others to have of you.
Financial literacy starts with your own self-awareness regarding your mindset and your habits. It may be tough, and you may not want to come to terms with it, but truly evaluate your own situation and relationship with material items. Hopefully, this will spark a piece of you that is motivated and determined to make a change, and pursue financial freedom!
news articles referenced in this post: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/materialistic https://www.redcrowmarketing.com/2015/09/10/many-ads-see-one-day/